The Losers Game
by Letta
Summary: Sasuke's inconsiderate capture and return to Konoha upsets the momentum of Team Kakashi, because he's a bastard like that.  SaiNaru.
1. Chapter 1

What's this? A humor fic? Where I make fun of Sasuke? Then I pair Naruto with another boy? I really need to write a fic where Naruto isn't one half of the pairing.

Have I worked on PTPF? Why, no I haven't, but thank you for asking. Why not, you ask, especially when this appears to be a _completely_ _new_ and _different_ fic? To which I reply, because other authors do. If other authors jumped off a cliff, would I? Yes, of course, but that is because I can fly.

* * *

Title: The Losers Game

A/N: This was written 4 years ago. I want to hear no critiques about what happened in canon time line since then.

Author: Letta

Rating: PG-13ish for the time being.

Disclaimer: No, I am not a Japanese man, although people say I look like one.

Summary: Sasuke's inconsiderate capture and return to Konoha upsets the momentum of Team Kakashi.

Warnings: Boys with special feelings for other boys.

Part: 1/3

* * *

Had he planned on returning to Konoha? No, he hadn't. Did he come willingly? Yes. Although that was more because he could tell when there was no point in fighting if the end result would be the same.

At least that way he could be conscious and _walk_ through the gates.

At the trial, Kakashi was chosen to speak on character behalf. Perhaps they figured it was as impartial as they could get while having someone who actually knew him well enough.

Then he was placed into a prison cell after they pretended to debate about giving him the death penalty. Maybe they would, but not before they plucked his eyes from his skull or forced him to reproduce.

Or was he subject to delusion when it came to estimating how valuable the sharingan was to Konoha? Orochimaru had made a big enough deal over it, of course, it wasn't until Kimimaro had become crippled by disease that the snake sennin had begun to look elsewhere.

Still, there was the rumor that Orochimaru's eyes had first landed on Itachi. Not that it really mattered who had Orochimaru's interest because the estranged sennin was in Sound, which right now, was a very long way from Konoha and Sasuke.

It was probably ridiculous how easy the younger Uchiha found himself getting off, considering.

Solitary confinement for three months to include a prison term totaling a year at the most was the sentence. This was to be followed by very strict parole and confinement to the village, which included no less than a four-man squad of ANBU tailing him for the following five years.

It was all done very quietly, the whole affair, and everyone involved in his capture and trial were subject to an order of secrecy under penalty of death. The details of his punishment weren't to leave the room where his sentencing took place. The reasons behind that, he didn't know, but he had a strong suspicion that it had to do with politics and to an equal or lesser extent, the Akatsuki.

More precisely: Uchiha Itachi, who was still very much alive.

He was prepared to have regular doctor exams in the future, in particular, concerning his eyes, even if it hadn't been announced to him yet.

Probably regular checks on his curse seal, too.

It was with a great deal of surprise that when only six months had passed that an escort appeared at his cell, introducing themselves as ANBU squad seventeen, and explaining that he would be in their custody for the time being.

In other words, he was free to go.

Sort of.

He hadn't had any visitors because he wasn't allowed to, nor was he given a cellmate, because he was deemed 'too dangerous'. So in reality, the three months in solitary compared to the three months out differed mainly in that out of solitary, there was more lighting and he at least saw the guard when his meals were delivered. In solitary, they had been slid through a slot on the door.

He was led to the office of the Hokage, blindfolded, because ANBU knew alternate routes through the buildings that weren't authorized for general knowledge, much less a convicted traitor.

Two ANBU walked ahead of him, two behind.

When they stepped into the office, however, he was pushed down into a seat and then they retreated.

"You can take off the blindfold."

Tsunade.

He reached behind his head and tugged at the knot until the cloth loosened and fell away.

She was expressionless, elbows on her desk and hands folded together.

Orochimaru rarely mentioned his former comrades, but he had said that she was one to watch out for. Use caution when dealing with her.

He suspected on some level, the snake sennin may have feared her. She shifted, and he tensed, until he saw her grab a packet of paper and pick it up so she could read it.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you are hereby released from imprisonment into the hands of ANBU squad seventeen. You are placed on probation for a period of no less than five years. During this time you are not to leave the village under any circumstances unless I personally instruct otherwise. You will not engage in terrorist activities against Konoha. You will not attempt to contact any associate from Sound or her allies. You will not engage in a career as a shinobi, instead you will find other employment… Jeez, how long does this thing go on? You've got the gist of it, right? Good, sign on the line, initial and date it."

She pushed the stapled packet of paper across the desk and handed him a pen.

"There's three copies there, make sure you get them all."

After he had signed his name all the required times, she took the papers back, removed the last set, which consisted of a few pages, and re-stapled them.

"This is your copy, become familiar with it. Stay out of trouble and good luck. Dismissed."

She said this all in a very business-like tone, not once changing her expression from neutral. He had been expecting… something different. Maybe a scolding?

The four ANBU flanked him again as he stood up. They were ushering him to the door when her voice halted them.

"One more thing. Team Kakashi has been informed of your return. Try and play nice."

There was a smile on her face like she was the predator, and he was caught in a trap he couldn't see.

Not sure what he was expected to do, he nodded and was led out.

* * *

Kakashi had the foresight to know he would need pills strong enough to control migraines for the week.

"So you knew."

"We've been over this, haven't we?" he asked, flipping through his book.

"You testified at his trial and you didn't tell us, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, her voice taking on a very dangerous tone as she entered the conversation.

"Hokage's orders." Ah, yes, one of his favorite scenes. Dog-eared, even.

"When we kept saying it was important for us to train so we could bring back Sasuke, you knew he was already back, and you didn't say anything!" Naruto growled.

"It's important for you to have proper motivation," he replied, mostly ignoring the two, as he re-read a passage for probably the twentieth time since he had bought the book.

"Kakashi-sensei, I can kill you with a single punch if I really wanted to."

"You'd have to catch me first, Sakura."

"I'm sure Naruto will help hold you down." There was a hasty agreement to that statement from the blonde.

"That might present a problem for me."

"It might," she agreed.

He set the book down and looked at them gravely before a cheery expression took up the visible quarter of his face.

"Well, with all that energy you two have this morning, why don't we put it to good use!"

One could almost see dancing hearts above his head.

* * *

Naruto was very sore after training, so he decided that he could probably use some Ichiraku ramen.

When he got to the stand, he noticed a shinobi with dark hair seated.

"Back from your mission, I take it?"

"Yes."

"You missed out on training."

Dark eyes swept over him.

"You look like shit."

"Kakashi was getting revenge, I think. So that would be why."

"I think you misunderstood me. I meant that you usually look that way."

"You're lucky that I'm too tired to pound your face into the back of your head, Sai."

"Not that you could, considering the size of your-"

"Hey guys! How was the mission, Sai?" Sakura sat down on the other side of Naruto, sounding far more chipper than she looked.

"Great! I didn't have to see your ugly face all week."

Sai was very fortunate Naruto was in between them.

The two original members of Team 7 ordered their food, and tried to keep from falling asleep at the counter.

"So he's back," Sai stated, not needing to say who. The two beside him immediately stiffened before forcing themselves to relax.

"Yeah…" Sakura said, staring at the countertop.

Sai's vision was focused on Naruto, whose eyes had narrowed as he drummed his fingers on his leg.

When he decided that Naruto wasn't going to say anything, he continued, "Kind of anticlimactic, isn't it? You've been training like dogs to bring him back, but he's simply arrested and brought in. Does that mean you've wasted the last few years of your lives?"

Despite all the time he spent with Sai, Naruto still wasn't always sure when the other shinobi was saying things to purposely piss them off or because he didn't know any better.

This was one of those times.

Naruto was spared from answering when their food was set in front of them.

* * *

Sasuke soon found that the team that led him out of his jail cell was not his permanent set of watchdogs. After some inquiry, he discovered that they and two other teams were on a rotation.

He hadn't been given any names to identify any of them, whether real or made up, so he assigned each ANBU a number. He had spent a week with one-through-four, and tomorrow he would be meeting five-through-eight.

He still had not seen anyone he had known before his departure. Although he had received a message from Kakashi telling him to expect a visit sometime during the second week.

He figured he'd see his former instructor in week four.

So far, his return was incredibly boring. He had attempted to go to the library the third day, but he was denied a library card. He was given some bullshit of needing to have occupied his current address for so much time.

So then he filled out a request for a card with one of the offices in the Hokage building –he wasn't sure which, because the form was retrieved by one of the ANBU. The man must have been just as bored as he was, because he had volunteered.

By the sixth day, he had received the card, but it was to be kept in the hands of the ANBU team assigned to him, and they would also be selecting and checking out his books for him.

They had thought it was hilarious to bring him children's books. Of course, by the end of the day, he had ended up reading them, and so had two of the ANBU.

They wouldn't even let him have paper and something to write with, because one of them knew of a shinobi who used his artwork to battle by using chakra to more or less, bring the drawings to life.

They didn't even let him use a knife to spread butter. In fact, according to what they had decided, he was really only authorized to sit on the futon in the middle of the room all day. They were only slightly more lenient.

It wouldn't be so bad if the assigned apartment at least had some decoration. Every wall was bare and aside from the couch in the living room, the only other furniture in the apartment was the sleeping mat, which wasn't really furniture at all.

It was really just the kitchen and the living room which were, basically, the same room, although clearly separate, a bathroom, and a bedroom.

He wasn't even allowed in the bathroom by himself, which was more than a little awkward, but he did his best not to show it, while the ANBU did their best not to look.

The first few nights, he really didn't sleep because it was difficult when you were being watched, but he eventually just got too tired. It helped when he determined that they weren't going to try and kill him out of spite.

Aside from their paranoia, he really could've done worse. They didn't treat him badly, although they occasionally tried to use him to relieve their boredom by serving him meals that had all been dyed blue or moving the couch each time after he sat down on it or other really crappy pranks.

Even that probably wouldn't have been so bad, except that ANBU number three had a habit of whistling "The Pied Piper" on the few occasions they left the apartment and they got into formation.

Maybe the next team could at least get him some decent books.

* * *

Kakashi showed up the second week as he said he would, surprising Sasuke. What shocked him even more was he had brought his team with him. All three of them…

Number six answered the door when the knock was heard, and after a brief conversation in hushed tones, Kakashi stepped in, followed by the rest of his team.

Sakura was the first one in after Kakashi, looking a little nervous. Naruto followed her, his expression annoyed and directed at the last one to enter.

If Sasuke's memory served him correctly, his name was Sai. He had barely met him, hardly enough to form much of an opinion, but he generally disliked most people, so he therefore disliked Sai.

"Good afternoon, Sasuke," Kakashi said cheerily, at least being polite enough not to be reading his book, for the moment.

He could see the hand itching at the small pack on his waist where he kept his reading material.

Sakura was trying to smile at him, and faltering.

Naruto was giving Sai one final glare, then turned towards him. For some reason, Sasuke felt annoyed, mostly by the presence of his 'replacement'. There was no reason for Sai to show up.

"Good afternoon," Sakura finally said, voice lowered and with a trace of sadness.

She had wanted him back, hadn't she? Then why did she sound that way?

"Welcome back, bastard," Naruto, at least, sounded normal.

He stared at them. He wondered if they knew he hadn't wanted to come back, hadn't intended to. He wondered if they suspected that he planned to escape this miserable village as soon as everyone's guard relaxed.

Itachi's heart was still beating, after all.

Knowing he should reply in some way, he nodded his head. It seemed enough to satisfy them.

Sakura was the first to move, seating herself on the couch, but not too close to him, as if he might grab her wrist in his teeth and bite. It was… not what he had expected from her. She tried to smile at him, but it failed before it even fully formed and if she couldn't plaster on a smile that she didn't mean, then she must've changed, somewhat.

Naruto walked around to the back of the couch, leaning on it with his elbows between Sasuke and Sakura, letting his arms hang down in between them.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?"

His eyes focused on the blonde boy –almost a man- who wasn't really looking at him, but more at his own hands.

"No."

"Then let's go out to Ichiraku, if you can leave, that is."

To his surprise, Sakura readily agreed, flashing Naruto a quick smile, looking relieved, and why, he wasn't quite sure.

Again, he nodded his head, and the first hint of a smile lighted on Naruto's face.

He saw, out of the corner of his eye, how Sai's plastic grin widened slightly and he thought it might crack.

* * *

It was the quietest meal Sasuke had ever eaten with his former team. On his left, Sakura would keep trying to start a thread of conversation, but cut herself off before she could finish the first sentence every time.

Kakashi was reading, but Sasuke knew he was watching. If common sense didn't tell him that, then his training did.

Naruto, who was sitting to Sasuke's right, was busy eating and trying to ignore Sai, who was on the blonde's other side.

Eventually, Naruto began to slow in his eating from the virtual inhalation he had been engaged in.

"You can eat as much as you want, but it's not going to make your penis any bigger," Sai said, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder to make sure he had his attention.

Sasuke's gaze fell to the hand on Naruto, and it must've lingered a moment too long, because when he glanced up, he noticed Sai looking at him with a strange light in his eyes. For a moment it appeared as though the boy had stumbled onto some sort of puzzle and had decided to put it together as soon as he looked at the picture on the box.

"Naruto, we're going to the library this evening, aren't we?" Sai asked.

The blonde made a face, but nodded.

"Sakura, you're still coming, right?" Naruto asked, stuffing more noodles into his mouth.

"Yeah, Tsunade-sensei wanted me to research blood clotting jutsus."

Sasuke fought against raising an eyebrow. When he was still a member of Team 7, they had never really done much of anything together, and there's no way he ever would've imagined Naruto in a library.

They ended up making small chat around him, mostly consisting of Naruto and Sakura, before they all decided they were done and they got up, followed by the ANBU team in the corner getting up, and returned to the small apartment.

Kakashi explained that they had to get back to training, and they were about to leave when Sasuke made a snap decision for a reason he didn't really understand.

"Sakura."

The girl turned toward him as she stopped heading out the door, causing Sai to stop who was behind her, and Naruto to run into Sai, who smiled and made a rude comment about Naruto's abilities as a shinobi and the relation it had to the size of a certain part of his anatomy.

She looked at him expectantly, not ecstatic like she might have once been, but looking slightly uncomfortable, and maybe a little apprehensive.

"Yes, Sasuke… kun?" He noticed how she forced the suffix, but ignored it for the moment.

"When you go to the library, could you get me a book?"

"What kind of book?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure you can pick out something I would like." It was the closest thing to a conversation Sasuke had since before his incarceration in a Konoha prison.

She smiled, hesitantly, but it was a genuine smile.

"Sure. I bet Naruto could help me."

"Yeah, we'll find something for you!" Naruto said, flashing him the first real smile since he stepped through the door earlier that day.

Sasuke didn't return either of their smiles, but nodded.

* * *

"So that was awkward," Sakura said once Kakashi had disappeared off to wherever it was that he went. Naruto and Sakura had always felt it was best not to ask.

"I'm actually kind of glad that it's over," Naruto agreed, sheepishly.

"Is it because he has a bigger pe-"

"No, Sai, it's not!"

"He doesn't have a bigger penis? I didn't realize they made them that small."

"But, he's back, and that's the important thing, isn't it?" Sakura smiled, completely ignoring Sai.

"Yeah. He just… I…"

"I know, I didn't know what to say, either."

"He probably didn't want to spend his time talking to someone as ugly as you, anyway."

"This wasn't how I pictured it happening."

"Me neither," Sakura agreed.

"Well, there's always next time! We are the unbeatable Team Kakashi plus Sai!" Naruto said, thrusting a fist into the air and grinning widely, as much for his benefit as hers. Her mouth spread wide across her face and she giggled. Sai smiled and mentioned something about how he was necessary due to Naruto's inadequacies as a shinobi.

When they stepped foot inside the library, they felt more determined.

"I'm going to the medical section. I'll meet you two at our table."

Naruto nodded at her before following Sai to whatever section he felt like visiting that day.

Unsurprisingly, Sai headed towards the reference section where he usually went for researching human social interactions. What made Naruto pause was when after making a couple of selections, Sai also grabbed one on romantic relationships.

"Have a girl you're interested in?" Naruto laughed. Sai just smiled at him before walking over to the table where they usually sat. Naruto snickered on the way back, grabbing a few magazines from one of the racks as he sat next to Sai. Sakura was already studying, but looked up when they sat down, her eyes falling to the same book that had caught Naruto's attention.

"Who's the girl?"

"I thought I saw something earlier and I want to see if it meant what I thought it did," he said, smiling.

The two original members of Team 7 shot comments back and forth about it for a moment longer before being absorbed in their reading material.

Sai flipped through the pages of his book, confused by much of it, unable to see any reasoning behind many of the traditions. There was a brief section on jealousy that he read word-for-word, and felt a genuine smile spread across his face.

He scanned through the rest of the book until near the end, when he saw a section for same-sex relationships.

His interest was caught for the rest of the time they spent at the library.

* * *

When they visited Sasuke the next day to take him out to lunch and force conversation into his ears until they bled, they also brought the books they had checked out for him.

Naruto shoved a stack of fashion and teen girl magazines at him, smiling wide and snickering. Sakura smacked him on the back of the head, but Sasuke noticed the pull at the corner of her mouth as she tried not to grin as well.

Then she handed him a book on the local wetlands, a history on the last shinobi war, and a volume from the _Icha Icha Paradise_ series.

He raised an eyebrow at the last one.

"You could stand to loosen up, Sasuke-kun," she said, a teasing glint to her eyes.

He blinked at her, before placing the book down on the couch.

"Kakashi didn't come?"

"He said to meet him at six tonight," Naruto said, waving a hand in the air.

"Which means nine, and we'll have night ops training," Sakura explained, dismissively.

Sasuke didn't reply.

* * *

Again Sasuke found himself sandwiched between Sakura and Naruto, as if they felt they had a better chance of grabbing him should he decide to escape and should the ANBU at the exits lose their touch. Sai sat on Naruto's right like the day before.

This time, however, Naruto and Sakura managed to fill up the silence with chatter. They seemed to have decided that the best way to get over awkwardness was to just have a conversation with each other instead of trying to think of things to say to him.

"They closed down the weapons shop near my apartment," Naruto mentioned, twisting some noodles around his chopsticks.

"Yeah, I heard that. They were bought out by the guy who owns the shop near the chunnin administration building. You didn't like the owner of the one near you, though, right?"

"He didn't like me. The one near the chunnin building? He's married to the woman who manages the bakery near the Hokage tower, isn't he?"

"I think so… or maybe it's his sister. Why are we eating at Ichiraku again?"

"It's his wife. I like her, she usually gives me a couple extras when I get a dozen of anything. Said I remind her of her nephew. Because I like ramen and you never spoke up when I decided we were coming here."

"I didn't know she had a nephew. For some reason I always thought she had been an only child. Next time we'll go to Takahashi's, they're having a special on yakitori this week."

"That's next to my art supplies store," Sai spoke up.

Sasuke glanced briefly at the dark haired member of his former team.

"Then it's settled. Takahashi's," Sakura said, looking at Naruto for his agreement.

"Fine by me. That's where you get your art stuff? Do you want to stop there?"

"I need more inks."

"Can you do tattoos?" Naruto asked.

"I've never tried it. Do you want one?"

"No. I'm just wondering what you do with all that ink, because I thought you just bought some last week."

"I did."

"I don't see you use it that much."

"I don't use it only for jutsus. I make regular drawings, too."

"Like what?"

"Anything. Things or people I see."

"People? So do you draw me?"

"Maybe."

Sasuke's eyes shot to the dark haired shinobi again.

"Draw me."

"No, I'm eating."

"Well, later. You can do it before we go to meet Kakashi tonight."

"Fine, come with me to my apartment when we're done eating," Sai answered, then his eyes landed on Sasuke's, who realized he had been watching the artist longer than he had intended. Sai smiled, and put an arm around Naruto, who threw a glance at him before resuming his meal.

Sasuke glared without really knowing why.

* * *

A/N: I don't know what happened to my usual writing style, but this feels _off_, somehow. Not entirely sure why.

I think Sai has almost completely desensitized me from the word 'penis'. Almost.

If you couldn't tell, I was practicing conversation writing.

I already posted this on my LJ way back when. This is meant to be 3 parts long. I am currently writing the third and I need to go over the second before posting.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Losers Game

Author: Letta

Rating: PG-13ish for the time being.

Disclaimer: I own a winning personality and that's about it.

Summary: Sasuke's inconsiderate capture and return to Konoha upsets the momentum of Team Kakashi. SaiNaru

Warnings: Boys with special feelings for other boys.

Part: 2/3

* * *

When the door closed behind the trio, Sakura going in one direction and Naruto and Sai going to wherever it was that Sai lived, Sasuke felt a need to scowl.

He supposed he had been effectively replaced. Sai fit into the Team Kakashi puzzle better than he ever had. Before, when they had been genins, they had grown to work together, but they had never melded together the way those three seemed to.

Sasuke wondered if Kakashi ever felt like the odd-man-out on his own team. As if the copy-nin could ever be bothered to feel out-of-place.

He wondered if they shared the same depth with Sai that they had with him or if that cohesiveness was superficial. He couldn't stop the bitter desire for their closeness to be a sham. Didn't he already make his decision? So why was he insisting on sliding backwards?

If he wasn't careful, all those vows he had made in his incarceration to escape at the first opportunity and continue down his chosen life's path were going to be broken. The image of Itachi's silhouette outpacing him and moving further off into the distance was a sobering thought, however.

Once he was fully secured in the apartment and the ANBU began to settle in, Sasuke seated himself on the couch. He noticed that number eight had taken the liberty of picking up a particular orange book and was thumbing through it.

This assignment was probably like a very boring vacation for them. Sasuke intended to have breathing room before he attempted any sort of escape.

Patience had been drilled into him in his time away. Solitary confinement and the rest of his prison sentence had made him used to boredom, although his release had since made him feel antsy.

So it was with a great degree of annoyance that he found himself feeling increasingly restless. For an instant, he had nearly called Naruto back, but unable to fathom a reason for it, he hadn't.

He found himself regretting it and he really wasn't sure why.

After all, Sakura and Naruto had said that if they didn't get a chance tomorrow to come, they would make sure to the day after. Well, Sakura had said this and Naruto had absently agreed, his attention mostly occupied by Sai, who had made some inappropriate comment or another.

For someone who only had the sole task of killing off his last remaining family, Sasuke found that Sai was getting under his skin, and he had a feeling that if left unchecked, Sai would take it upon himself to burrow as deeply as he could stopping only when he hit the bone.

Maybe not even then.

* * *

Stepping into the apartment after Sai, Naruto took a moment for his eyes to adjust from the blinding light of the window that was built into the wall directly across from the door.

It smelled like ink, paint, and to a lesser extent, musty canvas.

Despite the paintings and drawings littering the walls, there was something of a soulless edge to the room. Everything seemed to be arranged without feeling, except for one painting that seemed to have a spotlight next the window. One of the few that wasn't a landscape.

Naruto walked over to it, seeing it was the only one with a label that titled it. He recognized the people in the painting.

"You painted this after the first time we all went after Sasuke, didn't you?"

Sai glanced over to look at the painting, even though he knew which one Naruto was talking about. The dark haired boy smiled slightly although Naruto couldn't see it with his back turned.

"That mission turned out better for me than for you, I think."

"Yes… I always used to think it was such a failure, but we all grew a lot closer after it, didn't we?"

Naruto's voice was oddly choked.

Sai could not begin to understand the emotions Naruto was going through right now. He didn't know if it was the memory of that failure that was overwhelming Naruto or more recent events. He could plainly see that the reunion was not going at all like anyone had really expected. Perhaps Sakura and Naruto had naively believed that when they both hauled Sasuke through the gates of the village together that the young Uchiha would suddenly realize the error of his ways, apologize, and Team 7 would go back to being a happy little family instead of the wounded appendage with the Sai-band-aide that it was now.

Everyone must have known better.

It didn't matter because Sai was fairly content with or without Sasuke. His teammates however were another thing altogether.

He knew he had grown to care for Naruto and Sakura along the way, and even Yamato and Kakashi, but whether it was a little or a lot, he honestly didn't know since it had been so long since he had cared for anyone.

It was obvious to Sai that Naruto would be helped by some sort of comfort at the moment, so he gently laid his hand on Naruto's arm, waiting for the other to turn and look at him before saying, "We should get started. Now take off your pants and shirt."

Unfortunately Sai's version of comfort was abuse.

Naruto blinked, his eyes starting to narrow before his expression changed again to something more at ease.

"Only for money," he quipped, recognizing that sometimes Sai was just Sai and it was pointless to get mad about it, especially when he was pretty sure the idiot was just trying to help.

In the end Sai instructed Naruto to cook a package of ramen and drew him while the blonde concentrated on his task.

"So you must be glad to have Sasuke-kun back." Sai stated, watching the reaction of his statement.

Naruto looked at him before turning his attention back to the stove.

"Yeah, I mean it's been so long and now he's finally here."

"What are you going to do about it?" Sai asked, genuinely curious.

"Huh?"

"What are you going to do now that he's back?"

"I… I don't know. I mean I guess I was always so concerned with getting him back and now I don't know with the ANBU there and him being restricted…"

It was odd to see Naruto so unsure of himself.

"Did you think they'd reinstate him with Team Kakashi?"

"I didn't know what they'd do. I guess I tried not to think about it, I mean the most important thing was getting him back. Everything would work out after that."

Sai paused before replying, supplementing a heavy stroke with several lighter ones of his pencil. He could tell how confident Naruto had been that it all would work out, but the reality of the situation was shaking that resolution. This awkwardness with Sasuke was difficult for Naruto, who was never one for walking on eggshells to begin with.

"Then why wouldn't everything work out now?"

Naruto didn't answer, but Sai watched as the other teenager considered what he said and saw the tension from the corner of his eyes ease.

It was so easy to learn from Naruto because he never hid any of his emotions.

"Finished," Sai said, laying his drawing pad on the counter as he stood and walked over to where Naruto was stirring the ramen and eyeing the noodles critically before reaching over and switching the burner off.

"Sasuke-kun is stuck here for awhile. You have time."

Naruto glanced at Sai and wondered just how much he had come to understand people, or if he had just gotten lucky in saying the right thing.

"He's not likely to leave since you're the only person his penis looks big in comparison to."

* * *

Sakura waved as they walked up to the bridge at 8:45. The sun was ready to set, but there was still enough light for her to notice Sai had a swollen lip. She didn't bother to ask what he did to deserve it.

It wasn't hard to guess anyway.

"Did you two have fun with your art project?" she asked, eyeing the pair as they leaned against the railing.

"Naruto-kun is very flexible, though I made him keep his pants on because his pe-"

"That never happened!" Naruto interrupted hotly, clenching a fist tightly.

"So you didn't keep your pants on?" Sakura giggled, "That's very risqué, Naruto."

"It's not like that at all, Sakura-chan!"

"Then what is it like?"

"Naruto-kun wanted to pose nude," Sai answered, smiling cheerfully because he knew his lie would get under Naruto's skin.

"I did not!"

"I don't know, Naruto, I think I might believe Sai," Sakura said grinning slyly.

"Why would I want to pose naked anyway?"

"That's what I asked," Sai answered.

Sai had, unfortunately (for Naruto), quickly picked up on sexual connotations shortly after officially becoming a part of Team Kakashi, no doubt due to a curiosity of the copy nin's preferred reading material.

Naruto was often the one to suffer.

"Sorry I'm late, but a little boy stopped me so I could rake leaves," Kakashi said as he appeared, only two hours and fifty minutes later than the original meeting time.

"Liar!" Naruto and Sakura shouted.

"Don't say that…"

"What are we doing tonight, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, pushing away from the railing of the bridge.

"Ah. Tonight we are going break into a building and retrieve a captive. There are at least four ANBU level guards to watch out for," Kakashi began, as the three leaned in closer to him.

Once Kakashi finished explaining the details of their objective, he stepped back to allow his team to plan their assault.

"We could start by having Naruto distract the guards by posing nude," Sakura suggested, giggling and winking at Sai.

"I told you I didn't pose naked!"

"Eh? Am I missing something?" Kakashi asked, interrupting.

* * *

When Kakashi stopped, his team looked at him with very confused expressions.

"Kakashi-sensei, what is this?" Sakura asked.

"This is where our objective is located."

"Are you serious?" Naruto butted in.

"Quite."

The group looked at the apartment building before them silently asking themselves if Kakashi was all right.

"Well let's get started, everyone!" Kakashi said cheerily, "Get into your positions." With that, the copy nin disappeared. Sakura and Naruto gave each other uncertain glances, before the medic retreated to her position. Naruto and an unfazed Sai went to the stairs attached to the outside of the building and climbed up three flights.

Sai put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and nodded at him before disappearing while Naruto continued on the last few steps to the appropriate door and knocked.

There were no sounds from inside -to be expected since they were ANBU level shinobi- when the door opened and Naruto quickly released the jutsu he had formed.

A burst of smoke later revealed a leggy blonde woman with her hair tied at either side of head that trailed down her sides.

The shocked ANBU who still had a hand on the door fainted when Naruto blew him a kiss as a dark form sped over his head into the apartment, an inked creature wrapped itself around one of the other ANBU while Naruto reverted back to his original form and charged another.

The unattended member of the squad started towards Naruto but a surprise blow to the side of his head dropped him to the floor as Sakura grinned above him, Naruto's distraction enough to allow her to get to her intended target without notice.

The final ANBU released a volley of shuriken towards Naruto who dodged out of the way and was about to move from his position when a kunai to his neck stopped him. Behind him stood Kakashi, who wasted no time in rendering the last shinobi unconscious.

Sai entered through the front door, knocking out the ANBU struggling with his ink creation and they all turned to look at one bewildered Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

Tsunade looked up from her game of dice with Shizune when Team Kakashi appeared in her office, transporting one irate and bound Uchiha.

"So, you finally brought him in," Tsunade said, looking at Sakura and Naruto, smiling. The two were shocked for a moment, before they realized just what was going on.

All of their training for the past few years had been for the sole purpose of bringing Sasuke back –willingly or not- and placing him in custody of the Hokage. It may not have been the situation they imagined, because they never envisioned it to be part of an infiltration exercise with the confines of the village. Still, there was a small amount of satisfaction in tying up Sasuke and dropping him, literally, on the floor in front of Tsunade. His truncated protests when they gagged him made it well worth it.

"Good job, brats.," Tsunade said, then to the roped mass at her feet, "Uchiha Sasuke, you are released to Team Kakashi for the night. Don't try anything stupid."

Still somewhat confused, the ruffled Uchiha didn't reply.

Kakashi released the rope constricting the boy's movements, and he quickly reached up and removed the gag from his mouth with a glower. Sakura and Naruto thanked Tsunade quickly, but it was obviously heartfelt before he was once more escorted out of the office.

This time they ended up at Takahashi's for the yakitori special Sakura had mentioned. Apparently used to customers who came and went at all hours of the day, the stand was open late.

"So Naruto," Kakashi began, his visible eye twinkling madly, "What's this I hear about you liking to pose nude?"

"For the last time, I didn't pose naked!"

"Except for the ANBU and Sai," Sakura quickly added.

Sasuke's eyes shot to the artistic shinobi on the other side of Naruto, barely restraining a suspicious glare. Sai caught the look and smiled at the Uchiha before placing a hand on Naruto's knee, who was busy trying to convince Kakashi he had done no such thing, except for the ANBU and to be fair, that was his Sexy-no-jutsu.

"Naruto it's illegal to publicly expose yourself, you know," Kakashi commented as he eyed the progress the others were making on their meals, intent on leaving before the rest of them and the bill.

"Actually he was posing in Sai's apartment, which is well within the confines of the law," Sakura added before taking a bite of her meal.

"Yeah, but-" Naruto began.

"I suppose you are at that age of experimentation," Kakashi said. Then after a moment added, "Just remember to be safe. Some things last longer than a night."

"If I catch anything unpleasant from Naruto, I'll be sure to report to Sakura right away," Sai smiled.

"I wasn't naked!" There was a moment before,"I'm not diseased, either!"

By now Sai's arm had made it around Naruto's shoulder and he leaned in to say something in Naruto's ear that Sasuke couldn't quite catch. Naruto gave the smiling shinobi a flat look in response before focusing on his meal, determined to ignore his teammates before he beat them all –save Sakura because she was frightening.

By the time they had left (Kakashi having successfully escaped without anyone seeing underneath his mask as he ate and then ditched them without paying) it was getting to be a ridiculously late hour in Sasuke's opinion. He was used to early nights and mornings for his training schedule under Orochimaru's tutelage.

His former teammate and Sai had since given up on teasing Naruto and had moved on to something Ino had said or done -Sasuke wasn't really paying attention. This sort of idle chatter about everyday things was not something he had heard since he had left Konoha. Any ideas of domesticity and a normal sort of life had been ignored and pushed away. The dogma of his life for the past few years had centered around training his body and becoming a better shinobi because he was a weapon of war and the strongest most lethal weapons won wars. That was life for every ninja in Sound.

Now he was an outsider and he sensed it distinctly, despite their awkward efforts and they were as aware of it as he was. It was like wearing a skin with the wrong fit.

The four finished their meal, Naruto and Sakura sniggering as they paid, while Sai had a stupid smile on his face.

"Kakashi didn't even notice his wallet was missing!" Naruto laughed and Sakura giggled gleefully. They had paid for too many of their sensei's meals with their own money to not justify using underhanded tactics to force some cash out of him every once in a while.

It was a short walk back from Takahashi's. Naruto and Sakura got along far better than Sasuke ever remembered and supposed that they had all grown up a little since then. The two weren't nearly as annoying as they had been, not that he had ever really minded that much. He would just never admit it out loud.

They reached the front door of the apartment where Sasuke was being contained not much later. The shuffling of recovered ANBU beyond the door reached their trained ears before they even knocked. The door swung open and Sasuke took a step inside, ignoring the ANBU stationed there.

Naruto and Sakura offered their farewells and started to walk away when Sasuke spoke, adhering to the pattern of waiting until they were about to leave before ever saying anything.

"Naruto."

All three of them stopped, but the blonde waved the other two away, waiting until they had descended the stairs and walked to the edge of the street where they would wait, before turning towards Sasuke.

"What really happened at Sai's apartment?" the Uchiha asked, fighting to keep the dislike from his voice as he said the name, somehow managing an empty inflection.

Naruto blinked, clearly surprised by the question and having obviously expected something else.

"He just drew me while I made some ramen."

"Then…"

"That was just Sai making dumb comments and Sakura making dumber comments."

"Does he do that a lot?"

"Sai? You mean comments like that? Yeah, I guess."

"I wonder why that is?" and with that Sasuke looked at Naruto hard before turning around and walking through the door, offering an almost muttered good night as he shut the door behind him.

Naruto stared at the spot where Sasuke had been for a moment, realizing his former teammate had been trying to make a point that was going to try to ignore because he wasn't sure what it meant.

"What was that about?" Sakura asked, curious, when Naruto made it down to where they had been waiting for him.

"Hm? Oh nothing, I don't think."

She wasn't really satisfied, but wasn't going to press the issue because Naruto looked like it had been nothing.

The trio started walking, mostly in silence due to the late hour and the yawns they were attempting to stifle. Sakura waved goodbye to them when the path to her house branched off from theirs, saying she'd see them tomorrow.

Naruto grinned and agreed wishing her a goodnight before he and Sai continued on companionably.

It was comfortable, but then Sasuke's stern face and insinuating eyes flashed in his mind.

_I wonder why that is?_

It was because Sai was socially awkward with no concept of shame.

"What'd you do with that picture anyway?" Naruto asked.

"It's in my sketchbook yet. I'm going to frame it."

"Why?"

"You have photographs of your friends in your apartment. I haven't had any friends since my brother. I should have pictures also."

Naruto gawked at Sai for a moment, then his face spread into an easy grin. Sai's mirrored smile was one of the rare real ones, warm and encompassing.

"Would you like to go to breakfast tomorrow?" Sai asked after a few moments when the two were about to split ways.

_I wonder why that is?_

Naruto couldn't play dumb with himself for too long. He knew what Sasuke had been implying. Honestly, he couldn't see what had caused Sasuke to say such a thing or even more, why the bastard should care. He had been gone for _years_.

What the hell did Sasuke know anyway?

"Sure! Meet me at my place at about 9:30 or so?" Naruto replied wondering if he could be ready by that time considering how late it was. Not that Sai wouldn't wait for him if he wasn't.

If Sai noticed his hesitation, he didn't say anything.

"I'll see you at 9:30 then. Good night."

"Night."

Sai smiled softly, briefly placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder in a gesture of farewell before disappearing into the trees.

_I wonder why that is?_

What the hell did Sasuke know anyway?

* * *

Sasuke couldn't sleep. He was tired. He could feel it in his bones, all the way to the marrow. Living with Orochimaru had left him powerful, but weary at his core.

However even his physical exhaustion did little to persuade his mind to shut down and his body to sleep.

The strange kidnapping mission of which he was the target wasn't so much the cause. It was Team Kakashi. It was Naruto. It was Sakura. It was Sai.

He didn't like his replacement. Not one bit. That's exactly what Sai was, a replacement. A pale imitation. Sasuke had noticed the physical similarities between himself and the artist. It was no coincidence.

Even their voices were somewhat similar.

He hated to admit to himself that the shinobi with the stupid smiles had gotten under his skin, but it was clear to him and he wasn't going to deny it, at least not in his head. Lying to oneself could be costly as a shinobi.

What bothered him most was that the act of replacing him seemed to have worked. He shouldn't care. He really shouldn't and he knew that. That first time when he had seen them, when Sai had apparently been in the position of double-crossing anything that had a pulse, he hadn't cared.

Of course then it was obvious that the team was newly formed and Sai was only a step below an imposter. Now the melding of that team was seamless. When he had been a part of it, the team functioned and at times they had excellent teamwork, but they were shoddily sewn together at the edges, holding together but fated to fall apart when the fabric was stretched too tight. Or maybe just the piece of cloth that was labeled 'Sasuke' was sewn that way.

Sakura and Naruto were closer than they had ever been, although it could be attributed to growing up. Sai was a better fit than he had ever been. He didn't seem to have any outside goals to pull him away from the group.

Now it was Sai that had Naruto's attention. It was clear anytime the artist spoke. When Naruto ignored Sai's comments, there was still a part of him that was tuned into the former Root member. Sasuke could see it. It wasn't that Naruto tried, he was just always aware of Sai like one was aware they had an arm. You didn't have to pay attention to it for it to be there, to _know _that it was there. It was just a part of you. So Sai was to Naruto. The Uchiha could sense it about his former teammate because he had once held the position.

Even _Sakura_ worked better with Sai, her skills as a shinobi amplified with flawless teamwork. It was strange to think of her betraying him like that. It was strange to think of either one of them betraying him. After all, if anyone, _he_ had been the betrayer and _he_ was going to do it again as soon as he had his chance.

Sasuke turned to his side. He was supposed to focus on revenge.

All he could think about was stabbing Sai in the face.

Repeatedly.

* * *

At 9:27 Naruto heard a knock on his door and hurried out of the bathroom, toothbrush jammed in his mouth and swiping at a trail of liquefied paste that had escaped his lips.

Cupping his chin with one hand to catch any runoff, he grabbed the door handle with the other, not bothering to look through the eyehole because only Sai knocked like that. If questioned how exactly Sai knocked, Naruto would never be able to answer, but he always knew when it was Sai. The fact that his teammate was supposed to be at his door within the next three minutes would probably have been enough of a tip-off anyway.

Pulling the door open and beckoning Sai in with one hand, he retreated to the bathroom to resume his hygiene practices. Fairly used to the routine, the artist shut the door behind him, shoes removed as he made his way to the old, but still sturdy couch to sit while Naruto finished preening.

A few minutes later, Naruto emerged, his shirt in one hand, chest bare as he walked over to the windowsill to grab his keys, dark eyes following his movements.

"You ready?" Naruto asked, despite the fact that Sai was the one waiting.

"Yes."

"What time are we supposed to meet Kakashi today?" It was a question he perpetually asked, for he was perpetually not paying attention when Kakashi told them.

"Noon."

"So that gives us a little time yet," Naruto said as he walked over towards the door, Sai rising from the couch to follow him.

"What would you like to do until then?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Why don't we go to my apartment? I have some jutsu scrolls you'd like."

_I wonder why-_ "Sounds good!" Naruto effectively cut off the accusing voice of Sasuke, refusing to think on that.

Sai smiled at him and Naruto tried not to dwell on thoughts of questionable relationships among teammates and accusations of the possibly probably insane.

Because Sasuke didn't know a damn thing and it was just like that bastard to have barged back into his life for not even a week and make him question all those things that had always seemed so normal.

Well, nothing with Sai was ever normal -but that was something else entirely.

Breakfast unsurprisingly took place at Ichiraku's because Sai rarely voiced much of an opinion on those little things like where to eat that Naruto and Sakura would argue back and forth about endlessly.

Afterward, Naruto followed Sai back to his apartment where there were scrolls with jutsus that Naruto _did_ actually like and Sai would know that Naruto would like them because they were _friends_ and Sasuke was in a different part of Konoha altogether since he was a bastard. Sai shut the door behind them, gesturing to a spot for Naruto to sit while he made them tea. When he came back Naruto was already into the first scroll so Sai set the cups down on the table and took a seat beside Naruto. It was all so normal except there wasn't any normalcy in it at all because Naruto was rarely in Sai's apartment until very suddenly and recently in history and he couldn't remember ever seeing scrolls sitting out waiting to be opened that Naruto liked and Sasuke hadn't been a bastard for three years.

Actually, Naruto usually liked scrolls when they had new jutsus inked on them.

And well, Sasuke had been a bastard, just not in Konoha.

None of the rest of it seemed very normal and maybe it was because Sasuke was back or because he was making insinuating comments regarding Naruto's personal life, even though he hadn't been a part of it for three fucking years, but suddenly it seemed too much of a headache because nothing ever worked out like you planned, and Naruto was wondering why that was when Sai pressed their lips together destroying any thoughts in Naruto's head.

* * *

A/N: So the first part of this chapter and the last part were written four years apart. So... yeah.

Sometimes I wish I made outlines for my fics. It seems like that would be easier.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Losers Game

Author: Letta

Rating: PG-13ish

Disclaimer: I may not own the series, but I do own the right to make medical decisions for other people. Probably.

Summary: Sasuke's inconsiderate capture and return to Konoha upsets the momentum of Team Kakashi. SaiNaru

Warnings: Boys with special feelings for other boys.

Part: 3/3

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the _long_ wait. I had writer's block like you wouldn't believe. I have never rewritten something so many times before. Sasuke kept trying to take over when the story isn't about him. He just likes the limelight.

* * *

Sakura waved as Naruto and Sai walked up. Sai was his usual self. Naruto seemed edgy. She didn't ask, because that wasn't exactly atypical. Sai had probably said or insinuated something that Naruto considered a threat to his manliness. Such as telling everyone that Naruto posed naked in his apartment.

These days though, those things bothered Naruto less and less. Like when the temperature got cold in winter, you eventually got acclimated. She checked her watch. It was nearly noon. Kakashi had told them to show up at 10:30. He would arrive shortly.

When the two boys stopped, Sai leaned against a tree, closing his eyes and Naruto chewed on his bottom lip, glancing around distractedly like he had something on his mind. Sakura assumed that something was probably being guarded by ANBU about a mile and a half away.

"Anyone know what we're doing today?" she asked.

Sai smiled without opening his eyes and shook his head.

Naruto shrugged.

"Figures." They had all wordlessly agreed some time ago that Kakashi probably didn't plan most of their training in advance and made up whatever exercises they were going to drill that day on the spot. Sakura was often of the opinion that it was inspired by whatever action scene he may be reading in one of his books and had his team act it out to satisfy part of his perverse pleasure. When it came to Kakashi, Sakura felt most things were perverse.

They waited in companionable silence for a few more minutes until their team leader showed his masked face.

"Good morning!"

"It's noon," Sakura said when he showed up.

"Ah, yes. Sorry I'm late, I was chopping wood for this beaver that…,"

"Liar!" Naruto yelled, effectively cutting off the rest of the excuse.

Kakashi ignored him and launched into the explanation of what they were going to train on.

Afterwards, when they were sweaty and painted over in red mud from the very recently remodeled riverbank, they collapsed on top of a low hill to catch their breaths.

"That was good, but we will still need to work at it a bit," Kakashi said as he stood in front of them, flipping a page in his book. Sakura was convinced he was reviewing the scene in his book and comparing it to what they had done.

"Where exactly was the fault?" Sakura asked.

"The initial execution is shaky and the timing overall was consistently off because these are new drills. Your teamwork, as always, was excellent and allowed you all to recover most of the time, but imperfect drills will get you killed if your enemy reacts quickly enough."

"You said this maneuver works well against Stone shinobi?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. It's aimed at disrupting their standard team cell structure. They typically have two men that run point that are generally skilled at taijutsu, a sensor or medic right behind them and someone strong in genjutsu at the rear to form an inverted triangle with the weakest fighter in the center."

"Which is why I attacked from behind or the side, Sai from head-on or the side, and you just went head-on," Sakura added, listing the variations they had used.

"I get that. I was just wondering if we're expecting to have to use it in the near future," Naruto replied.

Kakashi flipped another page. "No current reports indicate an increased threat from Lightning Country, but you should always expect the unexpected. Politics like to change and it's good for you to know how to counter all of the hidden villages' basic shinobi cell structures. You never know when it'll come in handy."

"Yeah, I guess," Naruto shrugged.

"Are you three going to visit Sasuke again? After you shower, of course," and Kakashi bothered to look at them as he said the last part.

Sakura looked at the other two. Sai grinned. Naruto was fiddling with a blade of grass at his feet. She made a split second decision.

"Actually, Naruto and I had plans. We'll visit Sasuke tomorrow."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, but he didn't say anything. Sai smiled creepily. No matter how much Naruto coached him, it was difficult for the artist to form a natural looking smile.

* * *

Sakura lifted her straw out of her glass and began tapping it against the side before she spoke, looking directly at Naruto.

"What's up?"

They were at a small café along Konoha's main market street, sitting outside in the late afternoon sunlight, sipping on tall glasses of lemonade.

Naruto sighed and leaned back in his seat, fingers twitching on the arms of his chair while he gathered his thoughts. Sakura had an uncanny ability to tell when something was on his mind and needed to be addressed.

"It's Sai," he said finally.

"What else is new? What did he do this time that is in grave violation of normal?"

"He kissed me."

He got some small satisfaction when Sakura dropped her straw as her mouth fell open. To her credit, she made a wonderful recovery of blinking a few times before resuming her previous composure.

"Did you, eh, well… did you _like_ it?"

"I was shocked. I'm still shocked, so I haven't really worked that out."

"What did you do?"

"I pretty much just stared at him and he had his weird little Sai-smile on his face and he started sipping his tea and reading scrolls so I stared at him for another minute before he pointed out that _my_ tea was getting cold so I drank some of it and scalded my tongue because it wasn't _that_ cold and then I read some scrolls." Naruto collapsed back into his chair, deflated.

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"What premeditated this action?" she asked, a certain crispness entering her speech as Naruto recognized her analytical side taking over. It was the same professional tone she used with her patients during examinations and her teammate couldn't help but admire the way she pushed her personal opinions aside in favor of dissecting the cause of the issue.

"We went over to his place before training today to go over some scrolls and he just, well…" Naruto gestured vaguely.

"I see," Sakura said, and the straw was back in her hand again, tapping the glass. "Have you noticed any other unusual behavior as of late from him?"

At Naruto's look, she corrected herself, "Unusual for Sai, that is."

"Sometimes I can't tell what's unusual for him."

"True," she sighed, "Can you chalk it up to just Sai being Sai?"

"As opposed to…?"

"Him being interested in you."

When Naruto's face turned a shade off of normal, she rolled her eyes and set her straw down on her napkin.

"Naruto, have you considered that Sai might think of you as something more than a friend?"

"I, uh… no, not really. I was trying to figure out how this way his way of commenting on my manhood or some other way of teasing me."

"Well, teasing might not be the incorrect word for this…" she said mostly to herself, then focusing her eyes intensely on him again, "You are the only person I know who can be kissed and not consider that the other person might be interested in you."

Naruto felt it necessary to squirm slightly under her scrutiny.

"Well how would I even going about finding out if he's interested or not?"

"You could ask him."

"Is there a way we can find out where I don't have to do that?"

"What happened to the boy I knew who used to blurt out his questions without regard to how people would react?"

"Jiraiya started hitting me upside the head," Naruto deadpanned.

"Ah…" she said, unbeknownst to him, a few of her private questions were just answered. "Well," she continued moving on, "I would assume that Sai's latest rampage of weird is probably related to Sasuke's return. I think it may be his way of 'marking his territory' so to speak. I hope it's just you he feels the need to do this with."

"_Marking his territory_? Are you serious?"

"If you have a better idea, feel free to voice it."

"Why wouldn't he kiss you too, then?"

"I would suppose that it's because the relationship between Sasuke and I wasn't perhaps as, uh, _ambiguous_ as it was between him and you."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Just that," her hands fluttered helplessly for a moment before she went on, "you and Sasuke have always had a _unique_ bond. It was very close and maybe Sai feels threatened by that."

"You just insinuated that Sasuke and I were gay together."

"Of course not! Not at such a young age, anyway. If he had stuck around it would've been a few years before feelings developed to being recognizable as…" she trailed off at the look on Naruto's face.

"You really think that's what would have happened?" he said the words slowly and dangerously.

"In Sasuke's case, I certainly wonder… You know you were the only one he ever _really_ connected with," and here Naruto could detect the slightest scabbed over hurt, "The thing is Naruto, if Sasuke was ever going to have feelings like that for someone, at the rate he was going, it would've been for you."

"So you think Sasuke is gay."

"How did we get talking about Sasuke's sexuality anyway? I thought we were talking about you and Sai."

He shrugged.

"My point is Naruto, that I think Sai was reacting to the bond that he sensed between you and Sasuke in own weird little Sai way. You obviously mean a lot to him. You mean a lot to _both_ of them in one way or another. What you need to do now is figure out how it is that _you_ feel. Also, you should ask Sai just what exactly he meant by that kiss and then _immediately_ come and tell me. I do mean immediately."

"Why is that?"

"I like to be kept in the loop," she said, taking a sip of her lemonade.

* * *

Naruto tossed a flat stone at the pond, frowning when it sank without skipping. He had never been able to get the angle right on the toss, even with countless hours training how to throw weapons correctly to assist him.

He hated when Sakura was right, which of course, was _all the time_. At least when it came to Naruto. Especially his personal life. She was quite opinionated about it, too. He supposed that it was like having a bossy older sister. He felt like she was older, anyway. Not that he'd ever tell her that, because she would definitely take it the wrong way and physically hurt him. She could be so touchy sometimes.

He sighed and tossed another rock, watching it plunk deep down into the water as soon as it hit the surface. When Kakashi appeared next to him and skipped a rock easily, Naruto didn't flinch, but he did feel a swell of annoyance. He wouldn't doubt it one bit if Kakashi had copied how to do that.

The copy nin flipped a page of his book and skipped another stone across the water's surface. Naruto huffed and gave up.

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Ah, I couldn't help but notice you seemed preoccupied during training."

Naruto shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Sakura drug you away." Which was something she had a tendency to do when Naruto needed a pep talk and they both knew it.

"Sakura and I already talked about it."

"So there _is_ something the matter?" Kakashi asked, his visible eye sliding over to look at Naruto.

"Sai… he… uh… he's Sai."

"So he made his move?"

Naruto stumbled a bit before looking at Kakashi with wide eyes. "How did you…?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious," he said, flipping another page. There was a stark silence for a moment broken by a slight giggle as Kakashi read something that made the exposed portion of his cheek flush slightly. Naruto thought the jounin's choice reading material was probably why he had ever jumped to the conclusion that Sai would have moves to be made, never mind that he happened to be right.

"I think those books have broken something inside your head."

The other man gave him an annoyed look before sighing resignedly and putting the book carefully into his pocket.

"When two young people have special feelings for each other, it's only natural for them to want to act on these feelings. Especially when there is competition for the heart of…"

"What are you talking about?" Naruto yelled, face crimson and eyes ridiculously round and wide.

"Ah, eh," Kakashi put up a hand as a sign for Naruto to calm down. This took a moment.

Finally in a very high pitched voice that soon got louder and stronger, "Do you and Sakura talk about this stuff behind my back? Why does everyone think I'm gay? Do I radiate gay? Do I have an ad for mansex on my back?" Frantically he tried to look at his back, grabbing his jacket in an effort to get a better look. Naruto disliked it when he felt something threatened his manliness, which happened more often than he liked to admit. Mostly due to Sai.

While this was an amusing visual, Kakashi felt the need to place his hand on Naruto's shoulder to return his former student's attention to their sad attempt at a heart to heart.

"It's not you," Kakashi said, "it's that you tend to form very gay bonds."

This was not the right thing to say, judging by Naruto's baleful expression.

Recognizing that he was perhaps doing more harm than good, Kakashi decided to keep his mouth closed. He was skilled in many disciplines, but he supposed teenage love maybe wasn't one of them. He wondered if he should reread all his Icha Icha books and see if he couldn't glean some new nuggets of wisdom that previously went unnoticed.

"Ah well, if you and Sakura have already discussed this then there is no point in hashing it up more than she already has, now is there?"

This was true. Sakura could examine this particular subject far more thoroughly than the rest of them, which did not attest to much.

With those parting words, Kakashi flitted off to destinations unknown, but Naruto highly suspected it was a bookstore.

* * *

"So here's what I'm thinking," Naruto said, barging into the small apartment a few days later, "you're insane."

Sai blinked and considered bringing up that he had passed his last mental exam that Roots members were required to submit to biannually, but thought better of it. Naruto was already pacing through his home, his shoes haphazardly kicked off just outside the front door that he hadn't closed. When he was like this, he didn't take Sai's well reasoned arguments nicely.

"What brings you to this conclusion?" Sai decided that it would be best to start at the beginning than to remark that if anyone did appear to be acting irrationally, it would be Naruto. He had long ago learned that those kinds of observations only served to incite his teammate further.

"You kissed me."

"I find nothing insane about that."

This made Naruto pause dramatically mid step before slowly turning to face Sai with somewhat larger than usual eyes and an open mouth. There was a blush creeping across his cheeks that helped to accentuate the blue of his eyes, in Sai's opinion, but then artistically minded people did pay more attention to color.

"What do you mean that's not insane?" Naruto exploded, hands flying up past his head to match the volume of his voice. Sai wondered if his neighbors would complain about the noise later.

"Why would it be? You're attractive and if I am not mistaken, attractive people get kissed."

Naruto's face turned a deep red color that reminded Sai of heatstroke. He was about to offer Naruto a glass of water when the blond spun on his heels and marched out the door. After a moment, he came back to clumsily grab his shoes and sputter something incomprehensible at Sai that the artist couldn't begin to decipher.

Naruto never responded well to reasoned arguments.

* * *

Sasuke sat awkwardly between Naruto and Sakura, feeling like there was something going on that no one was willing to talk about. Kakashi, on Naruto's other side, was predictably saying nothing of value and focusing primarily on his book -which was new and had yet to be dog-eared. Sai was smiling in a manner that Sasuke found particularly disconcerting on Sakura's other side and was listening to her prattle on about whatever is was she was talking about.

He had a long-ingrained habit of automatically tuning her out which he was beginning to realize wasn't always necessary anymore. She hadn't once looked at him with large, doe-y eyes or tried to make useless declarations of her feelings since he had been back. She had been pleasant, if somewhat reserved. When he found himself sizing her up as a potential opponent he knew she had changed -he never would have taken her seriously before.

"So I was running through the seals when Shizune burst in slamming the door against the wall. It startled me so badly I put in this huge burst of chakra, made the tiger seal instead of the ox seal and blew this gigantic hole in the opposite wall! Tsunade-sama was really mad at first but then when I started explaining what happened she was more interested in the technique that I accidentally created and forgot about the explosion, more or less. She spent the rest of the afternoon pushing off paperwork to try and refine it!" Sakura giggled. "Not that she wouldn't take any excuse to push off paperwork," she added, taking a sip of her tea.

Sai smiled at her in a very friendly way that Sasuke disapproved of on principle, mostly because he disapproved of Sai as a person.

Naruto was leaning further and further away from him, and when he glanced over to see why, he saw him trying to peer over Kakashi's shoulder while commenting that the book series was really boring and pointing to various lines of text as support for his argument. Kakashi looked annoyed. If Sasuke was still twelve, he would have shot out that most books were boring when one couldn't read.

Instead he thought it silently to himself.

It was then that Sasuke suddenly became aware that he wasn't in the middle of one conversation between Naruto and Sakura, which had quickly become the norm for him. While Naruto harassed Kakashi, Sakura was essentially fielding Sai. Naruto didn't even look over at Sasuke's other side.

He frowned.

That was when he caught Naruto glancing past him to Sai, who caught the look before Naruto quickly turned his head back to Kakashi. Sakura suddenly piped up a little louder, launching into another story and hijacking Sai's attention, for the most part. Sai did give Sasuke a quick look that the Uchiha couldn't read before he appeared to focus solely on his femals teammate.

So. He had been right about Sai. If nothing else, he had a good solid reason for disliking the artist. Also, Sakura was a mother hen. He glanced at her and tried to think of the word he had once heard Karin use in reference to Suigetsu… cockblock. Yes, Sakura was a cockblock. Although he suspected that it was an attempt to help give Naruto a little time to come to terms with having a pervert for a teammate.

Except that Naruto had a pervert for a sensei on multiple occasions… Maybe the difference lay in perving around Naruto rather than trying to perv on Naruto.

Sasuke mentally stopped himself right there and decided he really didn't want to muse on who was and wasn't attempting to molest Naruto. He told himself he didn't care about the inner-workings of Team Kakashi or any of its individual members' personal lives, because they seemed determined to live a soap opera. He remembered he used to often feel as though Naruto and Sakura were trying to drag him into one drama or another and how the world was going to end because someone forgot to bring extra kunais or brush their teeth. Disturbingly, he found a small part of him missed that.

Albeit a _very_ small part.

They probably still acted like it was the brink of the apocalypse when Kakashi showed up late. The thought made him slightly wistful.

He had a sickening feeling down in the pit of his gut that leaving Konoha again was going to be harder than he initially thought.

* * *

There was a very loud and insistent pounding on Sai's front door the next day that precipitated the arrival of Naruto in his living room, glaring at him. When Sai politely inquired after the reason for Naruto's visit, his teammate decided the appropriate response would be to shove a finger in his face and sputter, "You… you… arghh!"

Sai calmly took hold of Naruto's wrist and pulled the hand away from his eyes. He was somewhat concerned about losing his vision due to a completely avoidable accident.

"Is this about your penis being too small?"

There was a funny twitch on Naruto's face that made Sai think something had broken before Naruto punched him.

It was a few minutes before the bleeding stopped and Naruto calmed down. He still glared, though. In Sai's opinion, it was part of his charm.

"Sakura says I need to talk to you."

Of course she does. Sakura was full of that good useful advice that people like Sai and Naruto desperately needed but rarely ever took. Except for now. Apparently, Naruto's method of problem solving in regard to his own personal life was not working for him. He was the sort of person who could fix everyone else's problems, just not his own.

Or Sasuke's. Sai personally thought there was no fixing that.

"What would you like to talk about?" Sai put on his best listening face and turned to Naruto to show that he was paying attention. He had read in a book that most communicating was actually nonverbal and that it just as important, if not more so, to appear as though you were paying attention as it was to provide verbal responses.

Naruto barely paused at Sai's awkward attempt to appear human because he was so used to Sai being weird at this point that it was hardly noticeable anymore.

"You kissed me."

Sai was well aware of this, having been present when it happened, so he failed to see why Naruto felt it necessary to point it out.

"Yes, I remember."

"Why?"

"You already asked me that yesterday."

"You didn't really give me a good answer," Naruto said, scratching at his head.

"I thought my answer was perfectly adequate," Sai said, smiling.

It was at this point Naruto realized he had reached a stalemate.

* * *

"So how's the Sai dilemma going?" Sakura asked, vaguely aware of the fact that the most important topic of conversation in her life was Sai's most recent weirdness.

"I tried talking to him, but… how do you have a successful conversation with _Sai_?"

Naruto was probably the only person in existence who would be capable of such a feat if it were possible. Still, she understood where he was coming from.

"Well, maybe talking isn't the answer. Since it's Sai and he has trouble… _socially_," she coughed slightly here, "maybe what works with other people isn't what you need to do."

"So what do I need to do?"

Sakura leaned back against the railing of the bridge. "Find a way to send your message that he can't possibly mistake."

Naruto leaned back next to her, blowing air out sharply from his bottom lip up into his bangs. "How do I do that?"

She shrugged. "Naruto, if there's anyone who can do it, it's you. There are few people who are going to know him better than you. I'm sure you'll figure something out. Besides, with Sai there isn't really a right or wrong answer ever. It's just finding a way to communicate that he won't confuse," she said, smiling as she finished.

Naruto grinned back at her, feeling better. "Thanks, Sakura-chan!"

He supposed that was the older sister type of thing to cheer him up.

Which he would never say to her face.

* * *

Sasuke drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch, unable to concentrate on reading his latest library book and ignoring the ANBU guards that had pulled the coffee table away so they had a surface to play cards on. The past few weeks had seen the advent of a few more pieces of furniture in the apartment which had sadly been exciting. Konoha was boring, it always sort of had been. Boring in the sort of way that meant you were safe and secure.

He felt generally smothered by it.

That point noted, he still slept better knowing that he wasn't suddenly going to be attacked and killed in the middle of the night, even if he was just a glorified prisoner.

He had already been here for several months, and the plans he had been in the midst of before his capture had all fallen to ruin. Who he was meeting, who he was targeting, the few acquaintances he had were all constantly on the move and likely hadn't thought much about him.

His life in Sound had been fairly anonymous. The only thing he was expected to do was train. He liked that. No one cared that he had been the poor Uchiha orphan. No one cared, period. He reveled in the absolute self-reliance.

Here though, he had what he would call friends because he couldn't think of a better word for them. They came and visited and drug him out of the apartment and talked around and occasionally to him. It was kind of nice. It was also kind of annoying.

Naruto and Sakura were angry at him, he could tell. They probably wouldn't admit it, but they were. They hadn't forgiven him for leaving and they probably hadn't forgiven him for coming back and upsetting their world. Kakashi was deeply disappointed, but he could tell that unlike his peers, his former sensei at least understood. The jounin was probably used to people coming into and disappearing from his life, which Sasuke suspected was why Kakashi didn't hold that same anger and resentment.

Still, there was a part of him that liked the fact that his old team would come by even if they did bring Sai with. Although there was this gulf between them now, he could see it slowly closing the longer he was here. If he stayed, they'd be on the same side of the cliff again before he knew it and maybe if that happened, he could push Sai off that cliff.

If he left, he'd be on that craggy peak alone and exposed to the storms that always gathered on the horizon.

Sasuke sighed lightly to himself. He was tired. Living the way he had wore down on him. He was attacked so often that he barely even noticed it, albeit it was part of Orochimaru's training regimen. He almost felt like he could sleep through an assassination attempt, body whirling through his own techniques and take out the enemy before he had even woken up. There were times when he had been half asleep and when he woke up in the morning wasn't sure whether or not it had actually happened until he'd see the bodies and register the smell of blood and fresh death that filled his room.

He was used to it.

But he knew he could get used to Konoha again, too.

* * *

"Sai," Naruto said when his teammate had opened the door to his apartment to see that for once, the blond had not barged in yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Hello Naruto."

"Can I come in?"

Sai opened the door wider and stepped aside by way of answering. Naruto walked a few feet into the apartment and turned around to face the artist, who shut the door behind them.

"Look, I'm not always great at talking. Not when it gets all personal. For myself, that is. I'm not good at me personally…" he stopped, roped his thoughts back in and tried again, "Sai, I guess I mean this," he grabbed the front his teammate's black shirt and pulled it close to his chest, lips smashing awkwardly against another set.

After a moment he pulled back and to his surprise, saw Sai blushing lightly.

"I see."

"What do you mean 'I see'? You're the one who started all this! You kissed me first! Mmph!"

Sai decided to keep Naruto's rant at bay, lest his neighbors come complain about the noise later, and kissed his teammate again.

After a moment, Naruto stopped flailing and gave in. Another moment and they separated.

For a minute or two they stared at each other before Naruto asked, "So now what?"

"I have a book that…"

"I don't care what your book says."

"Are you sure? It's quite interesting. It's called _The Complete Kama Sutra_."

* * *

A/N: I have no idea how Stone shinobi teams are formed. Also, finally, finally done! Yay!

I would imagine that Naruto and Sai would stumble awkwardly through a relationship given their backgrounds, but I'm optimistic about it. As for not definitively wrapping up Sasuke staying or leaving, it's because I was trying to convey the feeling of essentially a soldier coming home after being at war and even though being away sucked, you get so used to the life that when you do come home you just want to go back. Adjusting to being home can be a lot more difficult to adjusting to being in a combat zone and a lot of soldiers do turn around right away and go back again for that reason. So I left it open-ended because there is a lot of flip-flopping on those decisions.

Also, I kept trying to write this chapter, but the only thing my fingers wanted to type were Madara!Crack and he had _NO_ place in this story. Incidentally, be on the look-out for "The Madara-Itachi Family Act" soon-ish.


End file.
